An excerpt from "How to Raise a Human":

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Instructions:

Welcome to your Life Skills Seminar Project. Enclosed is everything you will need to complete this week’s assignment: raising a Homo sapiens. Please read all instructions thoroughly before you begin.

Warning!

Homo sapiens, or human beings, are incapable of perceiving your presence directly. Use caution when contacting them indirectly, and do so only with the instructor’s permission. Overexposure to your presence may cause your human distress, and in extreme cases may cause the being to fail completely.

Full text of the story is available to read for free here, or buy a used copy of the full issue here.